The Problem with Big Ears

Let me just say that having big ears isn't all its cracked up to be. Whats that you say? It isn't cracked up to be anything as it is? Well, then its even less than that. Its been freakin' cold lately, and that means I am miserable every morning. Walking to school means that not only are my ears ready to fall off, but that the rest of my face freezes as well. When your ears stick out as much as mine, they shed heat faster than a Pussycat Doll sheds her clothes. So what little heat I am making gets dumped before I can get warm. If you ever see me in the morning, and I look like I want to bite your head off, I probably do. At least you know why now, right?
I'm sure someone will say "But Alex, your ears aren't that big," to which I'll say...has your mom ever suggested surgery to make your ears stick out less? Thats what I thought.

Alex

It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year...

...if you're a tow company or hospital. With the first snowfall, we're sure to see a flurry (get it?) of stories on car wrecks, auto/pedestrian accidents, etc. Why is that? Noone has common sense anymore! So to keep everyone safe this holiday season (whether its from an airbag or an enraged motorist, a black eye is still no fun), I'm giving you a couple ways to make sure you get to where you're going safely. Think of it as an early Christmas present and don't say I never gave you anything.

• If all the other lanes of traffic are stopped, perhaps you should stop as well
• If you're planning on turning left, maybe you should get in the left hand lane before you reach the intersection
• If you're walking home at night, and you're wearing black, don't assume drivers can see you.
• If you're walking home at night, and you're wearing bright colors, go back home and change...its not the spring anymore.
• Please don't slow down for no reason in the middle of the road

There you go kiddies...staying safe is easy! It also requires common sense, which might be asking too much at this point. Give me a couple months, and we'll come back and revisit this issue.